Doctor, Doctor, Where You At?

So, here we go.  It's moment of truth time bizzles.  I wanted to make sure I talked to my mom about this before I told all y'all, because she would be hotter than a two dollar pistol if she read this on THYMWYA. (Please note that this post is going to go south quickfastandinahurry.  If you hate when I post graphic stuff, then just look at the pics.) So, the supersadtruth is I haven't been posting on here as much as I'd like to and if you keep up with me on twitter you may know that I have been feeling like hell lately.  More directly and accurately, I have been feeling like ASSSSSSS!  As many of you old skool readers know, I have chronic stomach issues. I am constantly living in some varying state of pain and general disrepair.  This all came to a head two weeks ago when the pain got so bad that I was running a fever and throwing up.  The Mister first told me to check WebMD. BIGHUGEMISTAKE.  That site is a hypochondriacs dream.  They told me I either had gas or colon cancer (O-RLY?). He then finally convinced me to go see a specialist. 

Dress: THKN.  Jacket: Old. Boots: Steve Madden. 

So, I broke down and found a gastroenterologist. The wait time is 2 weeks out to see these people.  So, here is me trying to get an appointment:

Me: Um, Hi...My stomach hurts so bad baby seals are crying for me and I am throwing up and can barely stand up straight.

Doctor scheduler person: OK.  Well, we can get you in 2 weeks from tomorrow.

Me: Say what?  But I am in pain for the 11,908th day of my frickin life.  

Doctor scheduler person: I can make it 4 weeks if you'd like.

Me: a;kghiupeaiuht;eqhgbirhb;uwih!!!!!  FINE! I will take your two week out appointment. I will just be sitting here in a fetal position with alternating buttpee and vomalloveryourface, NBD. 

So, two weeks later, I wake up like it's Christmas morning and if I didn't have a sprained ankle I would have skipped all the way to the doctor's office.  I show up and I am not kidding you, the office smelled like poop...Which was appropriate and probably the only time I haven't sideeyed poopstink in my whole life.  I felt like I had found my place in this world...An office full of people whose sole purpose at work is to deal with people with stomach issues.  I was about to high five everyone who worked there and tell them that their almighty princess had arrived.  No one was amused by my antics.  

Let me sidebar with y'all real quick.  I have gone down this road of "OK, I am going to get my life together and figure out what is going on with my stomach."  When I say stomach, I am referring to my intestines.  My stomach has never hurt a day in my life...My intestines on the other hand are in pain and in some spectrum of swelling at all times.  I went to 3 different doctors in Florida, none of which were able to tell me anything more educated than "I dunno, maybe you should lay off the pizza".  To which I would say "WRONG!  No I will not lay off the pizza...Get an education you redneckahole."  

OK...So that's the background.  

Fast forward to yesterday, when my doctor walked in and she was really pretty and young (two very important qualities) and wasn't an old hagged out dude with one of those metal disc headband things on.  Nope!  She was totally cool and smart, and was genuinely concerned and interested in my stomach and my poop and basically everything else in my life.  She is everything you would hope for in a doctor.  Here is what we have deduced.  I have some gall bladder issues, and my small intestine is inflamed.  I have a battery of tests and procedures scheduled over the next two weeks.  One of wich involves me swallowing a camera that takes 4 pics per second of my small intestine. To which the doc told me: "Dont' worry you dont' have to return the camera".  "Good effing thing because I am not dealing with the retrieval of that.   I don't even like picking up Ziggy's poop." "Who is Ziggy?"  "Just some fatass I know."  Another one involves 6 feet of tube being put where the sun don't shine.  Then she tells me that I can't drink any of my vinos until after my procedure to which I was all:

One thing that I have come to find out during this process is, a lot of us women have gut problems but don't feel like we can talk about it.  I have found that some of my closest friends are dealing with stomach pain, or shits or lack thereof.  No one is doing the Dr. Oz "S" (WHAT IS THAT!!!!!?????).  People are getting colonics and recommending this procedure highly. And everyone is holding in a fart until they fall asleep and wake themselves up.  JUST SAYIN!  

Poop talk.

Angie

InstaAng

Hola chicas.  I hope you all had a great weekend.  I sure did.  I know y'all have noticed that I haven't been as active on my blog as I would love to be...But I sprained my ankle and haven't been able to wear heels, and this girl has been a busy little bee.  More on that to come this week.  One thing I haven't been slacking on is my Instagraming.  I was an early adopter with Instagram and have loved watching it blow up.  If you follow me on Twitter, you are getting to see a lot of my Instagramgarbage, but if you don't, here is a little glimpse into my daily life.  I will let you know now, there are a lot of smiles and laughs in my feed.  Would you expect anything differently? 

L-R: 1: Big laughs with my #1 stunna, Santina.  2: Passing eye and brain bleach to Adiel after making her watch Game of Thrones with The Mister and I.  3: RidonkulousRaunculus.  4: Home is where your heart is.  

L-R: 1: No keys. Push to start...My first bike ride to work because it was 80 out.  RESPECT THE CRUISER!  2: A birthday tradition for The Mister.  3: We stay reppin The Bay.  4: My new buddy, Millie.  She is the sweetest.

L-R: 1: California state flowers from our backyard.  2: Black, white, and Ole' Caliente all over. 3: Bocce with dear friends.  4: Sunset in The Outer Sunset.  It doesn't get much better.

L-R: 1: Early morning commute to work in front of The Ferry Building.  2: First time to Capitola to celebrate Easter.  3: Arm swag via: Blue Vanilla.  4: Purple obre' mani that I am completely obsessed with.

L-R: 1: Fun in the California sun.  2: Giganits e pontas on a sunday night.  3: "The Headache Box" aka: every girls dream via: Adiel.  4: Play ball!  Go Giants!

So, there you have it friends.  That's what I have been up to lately, as documented by Instagram.  If you want, you can follow me there: @thymwya.  My account is private, so, I will only approve you to see inside my private life if I think you are cute/dress well enough/are a bulldog (I follow about 20 bulldogs on IG.).  JKNK.  If you are lucky enough to get the golden ticket into my Instagram account, you may even get sneak peeks of The Mister.  

Say Cheese!

Angie

Go Gigantis

Hello Darlings.  I know I have been a little absent around here as of late.  Things have been super busy with work, and on top of that, my stomach issues have hit an all time canttakeitanymoremiserable level.  It's actually gotten so bad that I am going to go see a GI.  Hopefully this works out this time, because I need answers but more importantly, I need results and to be out of this excruciating pain.  All of that is going out the window tonight, because we are actually going to our first Giants game of the season.  I am so excited, I can barely stand it.  I will bring you a "WTEFFF you should wear to a sporting event" post tomorrow.  In the meantime, feast your eyeballs on this Barry Zito unicornio amazingness.

Play Ball.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

 The interwebs has only one funny thing to me lately, and that is a little depressing.  I am a little hesitant to even show you yo-yo's this because I am worried sick that you will never return to my blog because these girls are hella funnier than me.  But since I'm not a hater, I figure I will put you onto my latest internet crush.  I will say, that this is one of those ideas that I wish me and my friends would have come up with.  

My latest check15timesaday website is: #whatshouldwecallme  This is an outrageously hilar tumblr that was started by two bffffffffl's that went to law school on different coasts and is a synapsis of their Gchats with each other.  Apparently, they speak in gif, which is the equivalent to a unicorn fart to me...So, I think it's only right that we inaugurate them into the SF Chapter of the Britney Spears Sparkle Club...Because if these hookstars have this kind of sense of humor, you know they are welcome around these parts.  Here are some of my favorite posts:

"When a guys asks me to split the bill on the first date"

 

"When someone says the word moist"

"When you walk by those girls who talk shit about you"

"When I found out Kim Kardashian and Kanye are dating"



Y'all get the idea. This is quality hilarity and sparklegemawesomeness.  Go read that blog now, and be prepared to get nothing done for the next 8 hours.


Gifery.

Angie

Colorfully Stylish Contest with Circle & Square

Hi sugarbears.  Remember last week when I introduced you to my new favorite nail polish, Pams & Kin?  Well, guess what?  I am partnering with Circle & Square to give you two free mini-bottles of Pams & Kin Nail Polish.  Yep!  You read that right!  Y'all know how much I love this stuff...I really couldn't keep it to myself.  

So, here is the deal.  In partnership with Angie, we are having the Colorfully Stylish Contest! You can win two mini bottles of Pams & Kin polish. To enter, you must comment on Circle & Square's  blog post and tell us your favorite part of my take on being colorfully stylish and how you’re inspired for spring. You can get up to three extra entries by liking Circle & Square on Facebook, following them on Twitter, and also for tweeting, “I just entered the Colorfully Stylish Contest with @CircleAndSquare!” Comment on their blog post with each additional entry for them all to be counted. Winner will be chosen at random. Contest runs from Wednesday, 4/11/12 to 12 pm (noon) PST on Friday, 4/13/12. The winner will be announced Friday night as a comment on this post and on Facebook and Twitter. Winner must redeem prize by Monday, 4/16/12.

We can’t wait to hear about your colorfully stylish inspiration!

Pop, Lock, & Drop It.

Angie

40 Days And 40 Nights

What's real good ganstars?  So, I did it!  I went 40 days without that godforsaken Facestalk.  You may recall from this post, that I gave up Facebook for Lent.  Well, I did it, and I have to say, I actually learned a lot.  While I stayed just as active on the twittersphere and Instagram, In the meantime, I actually grew an unhealthy obsession with Pinterest.  Ooopsies.

Top & Vest: Old Navy.  Shorts: Levi's, thrifted, DIY.  Shoes: Louboutin.  Pin: Kate Spade.  Necklace: Stella & Dot.  

Here is what I did learn though:  

1- Facebook is really annoying and intrusive, however, vino with girlfriends is effing awesome.

B- The Mister is already annoyed by my rejoining the FB society because he thinks: my "face is always in my phone already."

3- Life is so much less dramatic when you are off the book.  I mean, I really believe that there should be a filter on FB for "Daily Drama".  I could easily aggregate 1/3 of my Facebook contacts to that filter.  

4- Number of people who actually missed me? 20.  I have nearly 700 contacts...soooooo, I am clearly not as popular in that space as I like to think. And we all know I am in it for the fame.

5- I do have some dear friends that really like and miss my ridiculousity, therefore, I will keep my account.  

With all of this being said, I am changing my behavior...Which is difficult to admit, considering I have been a member for quite some time.  I think I will use it to keep my fams up to date on pics and mayjah life events.  Other than that, I feel like its a stream of banner ads.  I hate banner ads.  They are mattebrownsuckiness.  I don't know...Maybe I am getting older, or maybe it just took a break for me to realize that it takes time, not a Timeline to build and keep friendships.  I am resolving to continue to put my time in to my friends.  Because as I told The Mister on Sunday morning: "Aren't you happy that we finally have some substantial, and normal friends?".  I want to keep that trend going.  So, if you are one of the 700 or one of the 20 friends that I have that actually giveadamn, let's give each other quality and dynamic, instead of "OMG, I can't sleep" or photos of your food, or "Wheels up".  I am a firm believer that you shouldn't put anything on the internet that you wouldn't walk into a crowded room full of gossip queens and yell.  And I like to gossip, so, there you have it.  JKJKJK.  I talk shit to your face, not behind your back.  No but in all seriousness, pick up your phone, write an email, or pay the 45 cents and actually pen someone a letter.  Don't just talk about yourself, ask about someone else and engage in their life...not just from a mile high view, but a down and dirty allupinyourface meat and potatoes friendship.

Social Media Expert.

Angie

Pams & Kin #phancyphalanges

Hi prettypretty princesses.  I hope that your week is off to fantabulous start.  I have a very exciting post for you today.  You see, something that I really don't post about or something you may not know about me, is how obsessed I am with painting my nails.  Deadcereal, The Mister just rolls his eyes at me all the time because I paint my nails at least twice a week.  If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, you will see my weekly mani's.  But I leave the epic mani how-to blog posts to the pros.  All that is going to come to an end real quick for us today, because I found the most sparklegemawesome girls in all the land who are doing the damned thing and making their own amazing polishes.  

So, my dear friend Sarah introduced me via the Twittersphere to Pams & Kin.  At first I was all: 

"THYMWYA groupies. Outstanding".  They are fluent in Britney, sparkle, and appreciate the unicorn. All excellent qualities in groupies.  Then I did some research and I found out that these business partners/BFFFFFFFFL's are not only doing what only Nicki Minaj has been able to accomplish, but they are also great friends and are putting out a fabulous and responsible product. 

L-R: Hell on Heels, Safety Dance, Karma Chameleon, THIS Year.

I will let Parris and Kiri tell you their story:

Let me begin by introducing myself. I'm Parris Hodges, and my business partner/ best friend is Kiri Jones. We both hail from the beautiful bay area and met on the soccer field in college. The nail polish line and company is a very recent venture for the two of us (we mixed our first colors the first weekend in December). It was an idea that began more of a joke and we had hopes of "one day" beginning our own line of polish (we thought we were going to have to take out a craiglist ad for a biochemist), more or less to help fuel our addiction. Being both avid googlers, we eventually figured out how we could actually make it ourselves and found a local company that we could buy the supplies to do so. Around this time we had lost a very dear friend of our and we decided that life was far too short to put things off for "one day." Thus, we dove into this all and began to actively pursue our dreams. Fast forward a couple months, and here we are. Each one of our polishes are hand made, 3 Free (dibutyl phthalate (DBP), toluene and formaldehyde), and eco-friendly.  We are currently selling on Etsy, and in an accessory store called Circle and Square (in SF).

 We completely and totally love what we are doing. What girl doesn't dream of having the means to create any nail polish color she wants?!

Don't you just love that?  I do personally recommend their polishes.  I am wearing Karma Chameleon right now as a matter of fact (I wish they named it unicorn poop though, because it's white with rainbow sparkles).  It only takes two coats and is really vibrant in color.  So check out PamsAndKin on Etsy, and let me know what you think about their product.  I am as big a fan of theirs as they are of mine. 

Nails done, hrrrr done, errrythang did.

Angie