Fast forward to this morning. The Mister left early for work, so, I figured I wouldn't see him until tonight, so, this would be the perfect time to just get the outfit shots of these things out of the way so I can get them listed and out of my closet. As I was walking out the door, guess who I run into? Yes, you guessed it, The Mister, who looked at me like this:
And I am all honeybadger with a side of don't give an ish because as I told him: "You don't have to look at me all day, what does it matter." He was just "I hate those pants." Fine. I accept that. Fast forward about 20 minutes whilst on the bus I see him tweet: "How much would you spend on a Boston Red Sox World Series Championship autographed bat?" To which I was all:
I owe y'all some backstory. One of my first jobs when I was done with college was working in the Marketing & Procurement Department for MLBAlumni. I know you are asking yourselves: "Ang, WTH does that mean?" Well, petite bebe, that means that I was basically a F-List celebrity for about 3 years while I traveled around the US and would procure and oversee signings of baseball memorabilia by retired and active baseball players. Because as my boss told me: "Angie, who do you think Yogi Berra would rather hang out with, you or me? (He looked like this) I have subsequently met some of the most legendary ball players that have graced the game, and been in situations that grown men pay good money to experience (this timeframe will always be known as my glory days). My mom actually begged me to write a book chronicling my experiences because if you can imagine my humor and flair for the exaggeration mixed with some of the most legendary tall tale tellers/characters of all time, it would have made for a good read (I'll get around to that whenever all my unicorns hair is perfectly coifed). Let me assure you that this was the most exciting job I have ever had, but they may as well had been paying me in Monopoly money. Therefor, while doing my signings, I would slip in an extra ball or bat for the players to sign for my personal collection. Mommadidn'traisenofool. Our home is now full of my personal collection. One of my prized possessions is that I got my favorite team of all time - the entire 2004 World Series Championship Red Sox team to sign one bat (think Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez, Derek Lowe, Jason Varitek, Johnny Damon, Ramirez, and David Ortiz) . I busted my ass for this get, and it's value with appreciation will pay for my grandchildren's education.
With all that being said, I knew that when I saw that tweet, that this was in direct correlation to my pantalones. So, I immediately tweeted back to The Mister to keep his mitts off my stuff! DUUUUHHHHHHH! I then texted him and asked him if he was going to try to sell my most prized possession because of my pants. He said plainly "yes." DUUUUUDDDDEEE!!!! The punishment does not fit the crime.
So, with that being said, I have too much valuable crap lying around the house so, this is the first and last time you will ever be seeing these pants so that something like the following doesn't ever happen again:
FTHEYANKEES and these green pants!!!!!!