Don't Worry Your Pretty Little Heart

A Terrific Tuesday to you all.    Look, I don't kid myself around here.  I know that this forum is much like the majority of my Facebook Frenemy's and y'all are in it just for updates from The Mister and Ziggy's antics.  It's fine.  I am ridiculously ok with this (not to be confused with what caused NeNe to have this reaction).With that being said , the level of pureridiculousness pertaining to Ziggy has reached an all time high.  Following are a couple of instances.

Wearing: Dress: Via: Ambiance.  Boots: Report.  Necklace: Stella & Dot

First off, I was in my front room on Friday getting ready to leave and Mister Toad's Tours comes driving by in their dumberthanaboxofrocks car and stops in front of my place for a photo op for all the tourists and I overhear the following jackassery fly out of the tour guides mouth: "Sometimes, there is a bulldog that hangs out in this Bay window."  Then he honks the absurd horn and Ziggy comes running out of my bedroom, hops on the couch and poses for these fools.  SPDUIFHPWUHR[WEH!!!!!!! ZIGGY!!!!!!!!!  GET A FREAKING JOB OR A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Why are you all of the sudden a San Francisco tourist attraction? I am all about being world famous.  Hellsbells, that is why I started this blog.  But I work my ass off for this blog and Ziggy doesn't do a damned thing all day but apparently give shows in the window of my Victorian.  I am now contemplating asking Mister Toad for fair compensation.

Secondly, my preciousaspie Momma sent us an early holiday package.  In it was the biggest argyle dog sweater I have ever seen.  OBVIIIIIIII, I quickly slapped that thing on Zig.  Ummmm, can I just tell you that he is fullblown obsessed with this sweater.  He wants to wear it all the time.   I will say: "Zig-a-pig, want to wear your sweater?"  Dude will come flying like Super Man across the room jumping around like a bucking bronco until I get his clothes on.  Then he sticks his nose so far up in the air and gets really proud and goes and shows off to whomever is around.  I can't decide if he looks like Turtle or a fat rapper.  You tell me.  The best part is, he was yelling at some people to get out of his yard and The Mister told him: "No one is scared of you and your grandpa sweater, Ziggy, so shut it."  Zig was all: "Whatever man, It was all a dream. I used to read Word Up magazine." 

I tell you all of these little bubba anecdotes because this past weekend marked three years since I got Zig.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am nothing if not tenacious.  When I decided I wanted a dog, I was watching Rob and Big and then immediately visualized exactly what I wanted.  I knew I wanted a white male bulldog with black on his eye and a black nubbin.  I scoured the internet and became an expert on bulldogs, whilst also becoming completelytotallystupidly obsessed and determined.  I found a breeder in Tennessee (who ended up being a bonafide POSloserface) and within a couple of weeks, I had a 21 lb puppy shipped to me via Northwest Airlines cargo.  That's right, bubbz was 21 lbs at 8 weeks old.  I should have known at that point that this was going to be T-R-O-U-B-L-E.  In the past three years, Zig has moved across the country with me twice, eaten thousands of dollars worth of handbags, hogged the majority of the bed the majority of the time, become my littletinylittle baby, my bestgoodfriend, and brought The Mister and I together.  He is a blessing on my life and I love him so much, that at least once a day I start missing him immensely. He is the cutest of the cutes, the puppiest of the pups, and the bubbiest of the bubbs.

Zig, the day after I got him.

Bubba Kisses.

Angie

Work It, Girl

Hi chickadees.  I hope everyone had a superduper Thanksgiving weekend full of family, friends, and tryptophan. I am overthemoon excited to announce that I am starting a new weekly feature here on the blog.  Every Monday, I will tackle a style dilemma for you.  So, Send me your sartorial connundrums and I will solve them for you.  Wondering what to do with that vest in your closet that looks like a yeti? Trying to figure out what the best boots to buy for under $150?  Want to know how to create the penultimate arm party? Need help coming up with the most mindbottling wordjumble anyone has ever read? Hit me up! 

In my inaugural edition, I am going to hook up my girl, who is a regular What Is Making You Smile Thursday winner and all around sparklegemawesome princess, The Artist Formerly Known as Lori B.  Here is what she had to say:

"Got one! I have some ideas, but Im sure you would come up with something better. I have some job interviews coming up in a creative industry. So, I have to walk that fine line of looking hip-trendy and somewhat professional. (But not too professional cause then you look like you are from the Mid-West and just moved to L.A.) (EEEEK, No offense anyone...don't sideeye me or my girl.!)Also, since I am on the job hunt, Im on a tight budget.  I'd love your ideas."

Low and behold, after chatting with Lori a bit, I found out that her interview is at an agency that I used to work at.  So, not only am I going to hook her up with a fun look, but I have her covered from a couple of different angles.  One of the great things about the agency she is interviewing at is that there is total freedom to express yourself style-wise...That doesn't mean you should show up looking like a bonafidenotalent a-hole for your interview though.    Here is what I came up with (total outfit cost: $118):

Work It, Girl by angiepags featuring skinny jeans

LB, now RR, I know you will kill it tomorrow.  You are an amazing woman, both inside and out.  Thank you so much for being my guinea pig.  

Anyone out there have any road blocks in their closet that they would like my help with?  Feel free to leave me a comment or question in the comments section and I will happily throw together a mood board for you.

9 To 5.

Angie

WTH Do I Wear?: Thanksgiving Edition

Hey girls.  I hope y'all had a great weekend.  Can you believe that we are in the thick of Thanksgiving week?  I adore Turkey Day.  Football, cooking, and gorging ourselves on a meal surrounded by family and friends.  What could be better?  The only problem I have with Thanksgiving is trying to figure out what to wear.  Part of the day, you are slicing, dicing, and baking your face off and the other half you are posing for family photos that will be featured in this year's Christmas cards.  Honestly I am not traditionally one for stretchy pants or velour suits (because I am NOT Angie From The Block).  I feel like I have to find something that toes the line between classy and comfy. Because once that capon is in the oven, I need to put my heels on and look cute for my new Facebook profile pic.  I think I have come up with a good solution in this outfit.  Boyfriend jeans and my Sam Edelman loafers for throwin down in the kitchen, and transition into a classic skirt and blazer (edged up with some Vince Camuto booties) for pics and dinner. 

WTH Do I Wear For Thanksgiving? by angiepags featuring cluster jewelry

Y'all, I have to be really honest, I feel very silly posting today.  I witnessed something this morning that has truly shaken me to my core.  On my way to work, I saw a biker die a brutal death (I will spare you the details) and I have been left reeling from the experience. In this season of Thanksgiving it is appropriate to reflect and be thankful for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon us.  I am very thankful for every breath I take, but it is so true that you never know when your time will come to square up with The Lord.  I always say, there are just some things that my mind doesn't need and seeing someone's life taken before my eyes was definitely on that list.  You see, I am a very sensitive person and can be greatly affected by things that happen around me.  All day I have been reminding myself that we are never given more than we can handle, and in that I find peace.

Angie 

What's Making You Smile Thursday - B-Day

TGIT, beautiful people.  I hope that this was a fantabulous week for all of you.  So, I woke up this morning and felt a little emotional (read: on the verge of uglycryface all day).  The best cure for that for me, is to listen to Beyonce.  She is my heartsong.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I think about a few things at all times: The Mister, Ziggy, unicorns, Britney, pickles, what would happen if I got caught in the middle of a flash mob, and Beyonce.  Not necessarily in that order.

I think of both Britney and Beyonce as friends of mine.  You see, we all have a Britney and a Beyonce in our lives.  Britney is that hotmess of a friend that you have that you love to go out with because you can bet your paycheck that she will A: make out with a rando (poss homeless person)  B: flash her peekachu C: be barefoot contessa in the club and D: blackout, puke on herself, and try to get in a fight.  You love this girl because she is pure drama.  However, we all have a Beyonce friend too...You know the one, she is perfect and has her everloving ish together. You love everything she wears.  She never has a bad hair day.  You look up to her. You want to be her. That is Beyonce to me, and today she is what is making me smile.



Top: Jaloux via: StitchFix. Jeans:7's.  Scarf: Forever 21 (old)



I have to admit, I was really worried about my bestgoodfriend B becuase of B'Day and Sasha Fierce.  I was really thinking that her and Hova had an effed up relationship.  I mean, when you are singing songs like "If I Were A Boy",  "Irreplaceable", "Sweet Dreams", and "Why Don't You Love Me", you gotta think that something 'aint right at home.  I was really hating Jay and wanting to slap him upside that bigass head of his.  But then 4 came out and you think to yourself: "OK, Ang...our girl is all good.  She is happy and in love with her husband!" And then she told me at the MTV Awards that she was going to be having her first baby, and I cried tears of joy for her. Because that is what you do when your BFFFFFL tells you that she is is having her first baby.  Well, that and I scream with delight.  I digress... 

So, the following video was brought to my attention today.  Not only do we see her wedding dress for the first time ever, but you just smile and cry because not only is this woman perfect, but you realize that she is just like you...She finally is comfortable with herself and who she is not only in public but at home an in her most private moments as well. 

So Bey, you recieve the likeditsoheputaringonit award for the day.  Thanks for being the embodiment of sparklegemawesomeness you freaking DIVAAAAAA!

Love Always,

Angie

Then Again, Maybe She Will

AGOIRGA[IHFAD!!!!!  I think I now understand why some people hate technology. Why in the hell must things run differently on different machines.  Why does Google have to hate Apple so freaking much?  I bought an iPad2 last weekend with the main purpose of the purchase being so that I can keep up with the blog while on the go.  Well, guess what you can't do on blogger if you have an ipad?  You can't import photos from Flickr. MFGD!  Then I can't add my pinterest bookmark to it either.  I feel like Abe Simpson, shaking his fists at the clouds.  DEADCEREAL Google, no one likes a hater so, put down your haterade grrrrrrrl.

I honestly can't remember what I am wearing...I think I need some ginko biloba.  **Correction, the dress is by Aryn K

In other news, besides wanting do this to my work computer:

I did a bunch of shopping this past weekend (in addition to the iPad) so, I will do a big haul post for you this week.  I guess I was thinking I was some sort of baller this weekend.  Hell, I even got my makeup done and got dressed up and took The Mister out for a steak dinner.  Just call me Angie Cuban.  Making it rain all over SF. 

I definitely don't have as much free time at work these days, so, I feel like I haven't been able to find y'all quality interwebs crap.  With that being said, I did see the following news story and was delighted by this Russian Doll of a tale.  I mean, the whole thing sounds like a Breaking Bad episode gone wrong.  Highlights include: A man hopped up on meth being caught by the po eating a bobcat while having cockfighting tools on his person.  Ummmmm.  Enjoy the fun times here.  And remember kids, in the words of Rick James, "Meth is one helluva drug"

Rawr.

Angie

Your Rhymes Are Quite Bootylicious

Hey party people.  Did y'all have a good weekend?  I feel like I owe you a bit of a life update.  There is a lot going on in my world right now.  The biggest of which is that I started a new job today.  I am not completely sure at this point how this point, what the fullblown effects are going to be around this blog, but I will be posting the same amount.  I lost my photographer, Le Frenchman (Pepe LePew) because of leaving the agency, so, I will be figuring something else out.  So, don't worry your little faces off, I will still be posting the same amount, it just may be coming at different times.  So, fortheloveofBritney, be patient with me. 

Onto more important things.  I have been getting a lot of questions lately asking for suggestions on boots.  As some of you know, SF is a year round boot climate (which sometimes induces pureunadulteratedhatred from me). So, since I am such a Hall of Fame BFFFFFFL,  I pulled together some of my favorite boots this season.  Here is the deal, I believe that everyone should have at least two pairs of boots: one pair of black and one pair of brown.  Hell, last season I bought the same pair of boots in both colors. 

Boot-Y-Licious by angiepags featuring mid calf leather boots

Obviously, I am having a love affair with riding boots this season...However, when killin' it Nordstroms' Semi-Annual Sale this weekend, The Mister was not feelign them.  He siad they were "a little too hipster."  So, I ended up going with the first selection, I have listed.  The heel is pureperfection, plus the calf strap is an added bonus.  What do y'all think?  What boots are you gravitating to this season?

Boot Scootin'.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

Happy Thursday errrrryone.  I hope that you are all having a fantastic week thus far.  I have a small confession today, your girl is tired and emotionally spent.  Last night I had one of the best times ever with the Poshmark team, along with Adiel and Maria celebrating everything sparkle and leather.  Then this morning the BFFLRoomie found a deadasadoornail mouse behind my couch and I screamed and then cried.  She asked what to do with it because it was so small.  "Should we have a funeral and bury it?"  I was all, "Ummmm, hell no.  You throw that freaking thing away and pray to God you don't have rabies."  I hate rodents.  They creep me out.  Ziggy was looking at me like, "Mom, I have nothing to do with this." To which I said: "Clearly dude, because you couldn't shove your bigasshead and body behind the couch and get your non-snout having face into that corner to kill that SOB!  You are on mouse watch for the rest of your natural born life though, Zig.  Capice?"  He is currently at ninja school learning to walk on rice paper....The teacher called and told me that he thinks Ziggy is a narcoleptic.  I told the dude: "Look Danielsan, he is a freaking Bulldog.  That is what he does.  He sleeps." What an idiot.

Shoes: Dolce Vita (similar).  Shorts.  Top: H&M

Since I started my day on a grosstip, I will continue the trend.  This week's WIMYST is brought to you by poop.  Listen, I know it's not ladylike, but if poop isn't funny to you then you should probably pull that stick out of your bum, you woundtight jerkface.

OK y'all.  I aint never told a lie, so I'm not going to start now.  The following video is Dis-gusting, but I laughed so hard watching this, I snorted.  Sorry in advance.

The next video is definitely staged but makes me laugh nonetheless...possibly because I feel like I worked with an Art Director who was definitely this guy. 

Everyone poops!  Even you.

Angie

Shook Me All Night Long

Dangit people.  I have total writers block today and have no idea what I can say.  This is totally due to that fact that I forgot to take my b-12, and this pureridiculousness that is going on in this world today.  That uselesspieceofcrap, the Quake Quack kept telling me that I was going to get shaken up by a 6.0+ earthquake today, and then someone else told me that an asteroid was going to to buzz the Earth tonight.  I don't know about y'all but this is a lot to take in.  I was really feeling like Michael Bay was writing the script for the day and honestly, like Sir Mixalot said: "I 'aint down with that".  The good news about all this is The Mister and I do have our emergency plan in place.  I don't deal well with unplanned natural disasters.  Growing up in Florida, we always knew when our hurricanes were coming and this basically just gave everyone a great excuse to party our faces off for three days.

Wearing: Sweater. Leggings.  Scarf, handmade by moi. Watch. Bracelet. 

Unfortunately, my survival skills of running into the bathroom and sitting in the bathtub, or drilling plywood into stucco to cover your windows, and exactly how much ice, rum, soda water, and mint are needed for 72 hours worth of mojitos, simply has no use here in San Francisco.  Well, actually that mojito sorcery is valuable in any and every situation.  Therefor, if there is a major natural disaster, you want me on your team.  That and I know CPR.  Mojitos, CPR, Britney Spears trivia, and mediocre dance moves.  That is what my bargaining tools are going to be when armageddon happens so that I can be a contributing member of the aftermathsociety.  

OMG, WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?  Anyone know?  My ADD, no b-12, stress from predictions, time change and boredom have all rotted my brain today.  I am sosososososo sorry y'all.  

This was all just a ploy to get you to look at these fun lit photos of me and to remind y'all that tomorrow is my Leather and Sparkles Posh Party.  So, grab the sequins and leather that you are willing to part with from your closet and list them on the Poshmark App tomorrow night at 8:00 pm PST.  It's going to be completely fantastical, and not suck and all rambly like this post.  I promisepromise.  

Pray for my brain.

Angie

Sugar Coated

Hey Y'all.  I hope you don't mind the quick post but, that quake quack is telling me that the ZOMGZOMGBIGONE is going to hit here tomorrow so, I am nervous as all get out.  Moreover, SF decided to jump from Summer to ballzcoldWinter overnight and your girl is not prepared.  I really need to purchase a jacket so, instead of showing you what I am wearing today, I am going to let you go coat shopping for me.  Here are my front runners:

I am totally up for suggestions as well, but here are some ground rules.  First off, The Mister says "hellnaw" to capes, so don't go getting any bright ideas on that front.  And please keep in mind that if you are going to suggest fur for me, I'm Sicilian and there is a thin line between on trend and these bitches:

aint that right Drita?

My thoughts exactly.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday: Leather & Sparkle Posh Party

What's up bizzles!  Happy What Is Making You Smile Thursday to all y'all badazz's.  Do you have your Depends on? Because I have some really amazeballs news that is making me smile today.  I am so excited to finally announce to you that I am hosting a Leather & Sparkle party with Poshmark next Wednesday, November 9 and everysingleone of your Britneyandunicorn loving selves are invited.  Yup.  That's right.  All of you out there on the interwebs who want to know what it's like to party with your girl, here is your chance!  Me+You+Your iphone+Sparkle+Leather=ZOMZOMGZOMG Posh Party!!!!

Pants: H&M. Tank: American Apparel.  Vest: PIKO1988. Shoes: Vintage. Sweater: H&M.  Necklace: Stella & Dot

So, I know you are sitting there reading this in St. Louis, MO and wondering to yourself: "Ang, I am in  the Lou and I'm proud.  I bigpuffyhearts you and all, but I am not getting my happy behind on a plane so you can glitterbomb my life."  To which, I say: "Grrrrrl, no worries.  Go ahead and put your glitter in an envelope, pour a glass of bubbles and at 8:00 pm PST on Wednesday, November 9, pour it all over you and your house and then log on to the Poshmark App and collect your fave leather and sparkle items from your closet that you are willing to part with."  This is a virtual party, but not in a weird chat roulette way.  

Wondering what Poshmark is?  Poshmark is an easy way to connect with your fave bloggers, friends, boutiques, and other fashionistas like all of us around here.  Poshmark's covershots, Posh Parties, and easy shipping makes online shopping both easy and way more fun and social.  Everything is done on your favorite necessaryaccessory, your iPhone. A Posh Party is an in-app virtual party with a themed idea of what will be listed and sold.  My theme is sparkle and leather, so, channel your inner sparklegemawesomeprincess and Vince Neil.  I will be listing some of my signature wuss rock style with a side of fyeahsparkle all for you to devour.  This will basically be sparklegemawesomeness for the entire world to partake in so, RSVP here, because I like to know who my stalkers are and download the free app.

Don't think that just because I am getting in a partygirl mentality over here, that I am not going to drop some youtubery on your face on this What Is Making You Smile Thursday.  First up is the one thing that I wish I came up with:

And this seems like something my dad would have pulled on me and my bubbers:

These last kids slay me!

Aint No Party Like A THYMWYA Party.

Angie

Be A Little Inappropriate

Hey Chick.  Happy humpday to all y'all monsters.  Today is the last day of warm weather here in SF for the foreseeable future.  Believe it or not, I am actually pretty excited about this.  I have been looking forward to donning some of my fun tights that I have been collecting for the past few weeks but felt completely sacrilegious covering my legs in anything when it is a rare 75 degrees here in the Yay Area.

Jeans: JBrand. Shoes: Aldo.  Shirt: BKE.  Pin: Kate Spade

So, as we all welcome Fall, there needs to be a very frank discussion that happens.  Some of y'all 'aint gonna like this but, we are in our BFF circle of trust here at THYMWYA.  And if your BFFFFFL won't tell you some honesttobritney truth, who will?  Ladies, opaque tights do not equal pants.  Look, I am as big of a fan of rocking an oversized chunky sweater with some tights and boots as the next girl.  However, there is a super thin line of being on trend and being pantsless.  That line is: if your peekachu can pop out when you sit down and if you can see not only the line but color and pattern of your panties through your "tights".  No one wants to see that.  I am not kidding.  NO ONE!  Can you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?  Deadcereal, tights and leggings are called different things because they are completely DIFFERENT things.  Though you can't see through your leggings, they still require a top that is long enough to fully cover your freaking glitterific ass!When you are wearing leggings, your V should not show.  These two things along with yoga pants are NOT pants.  Come'on ladies.  Let's do better.  If you don't have a full length mirror at home, please for the love of everythinggoodandholy, go to Target and buy one for $10.  Better yet, if you can take that sexy iphone photo of yourself in your bathroom mirror and send it to your flavoroftheweek, you can use this same talent to check if your bootylicious is properly covered before you walk out your door.  

No Pants Dance.

Angie

You A Bad Girl And Your Friends Bad Too

Holy November Batman.  Honestly, I couldn't be happier about November 1st coming around this year.  Wanna know why?  Because my Facebook feed was back to it's skanky little ways today.  November 1 is like Christmas morning for me.  I wake up, check ye olde Facebook and point and laugh.  Deadcereal, that space hasn't been that exciting for me for nearly 3 years...Ya know, since all those sluts I used to pointandlaugh at doing kegstands and dancing on bars, while wearing all their Hot Topic gear all got hitched, fat, and/or knocked up. Honestly, the day after a four day Halloweekend gives me and my sideeye the ultimate happy.  

Dress, Shoes: Vintage (Similar), Necklace, Bracelet

Look BFFFFFFL's.  I am honest about things around here.  I miss my old Facebook characters.  We all had them.  You know that one dude who got all blackoutdrunk on gamedays and would be passed out in a chair with sharpie written all over his face.  Or that one chick who went out on Saturday nights in her best sororistute gear and would somehow have a pic of her posted by one of her frenemy's that looked like this.  Or how about that one group of girls that were constantly going hard in the paint every Wednesday through Sunday and shamelessly photoging the ENTIRE shitshow with no flamingbowlofbluedrink to go undocumented. Maybe even sometimes sprinkled in with pictures of people going all Britney at the club... My point is, we all know or knew these people.  It made all of our Monday's to login and then iChat our WorkBFFL and be all: "ZOMGZOMGZOMG, did you see that one pic of (insertnamehere) in fullblown makeout sesh with that lazyeyed guy from the mailroom?! If I were her, I'd want to off myself for that." 

Where did all that go?  Now typically my feed is all work related or pics of your sweetpreciouslittle kids.  I love your kids.  I love your engagement and wedding photos.  I love your interweb garbage.  I reallllllllllly reallllllllly do.  Please keep it coming!  But, I would just like to thank everysinglesolitary one of you who posted photos of you in your amazing and sometimes slorey costumes,  doing shots, dancing like gagaloo,  counting the tiles on the wall, and in general being that wonderfully delicious sparklegemawesome hotmess that I fell in lurve with you for.  My 3.0 year old heart greatly appreciates all of the effort and hangovers that you put yourself through.  Every single one of you are wonderful unicorn princessfaces for it.  I will honestly send everyone of you a Nicki Minaj style chicken wing necklace to show my gratitude.  

   Finally, I would like to greatly thank Star from Alluring Diva for making my Halloween costume idea become a reality.  She sent me the most gorgeous peacock costume that I love so much.

364 more days.  Bring it!

Angie