Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun Plus A Treat

Happy Halloween Ghouls and Gourds!  I hope everyone had an OOC Halloweekend.  Who out there is going for the decathalon of Halloween and going hardinthepaint all four nights?  More importantly, who out there needs an outfit for tonight, but you got the Seven Dwarves all over your sexy Snow White costume on Friday night?  Or better yet, have you been so burnt out on this holiday since that one time back in your freshman year in college when you took a bottle of Jager to the face in your Catholic schoolgirl uni (swearsies I am NOT speaking from firsthand experience), that you have totally written this entire thing off but feel kinda like you should do something for when the kiddos come by for treats?  Well, here is the ultimate lazycrazynogoodbagofbones guide to All Hallows Eve.  I fashioned these costumes by utilizing my fave black basics in my closet, so, I know that means that all y'all have something similar as well.

 ****Be Sure to scroll all the way to the bottom for a treat!****

Necklace, Ring, Bracelet, Eye Shadow, Dress

Necklace, Dress, Bracelet, Earrings, Lips, Heels

Leggings, Bodysuit, Necklace, Earrings, Heels, Ring

As a treat for all you ladies, I am partnering with Stella & Dot tonight to offer one lucky reader a Mystery Hostess Award.  Simply purchase one item from Stella & Dot and you are eligible to receive up to $250 in free jewelry and free SOHO Key Pouch.  With over a third of their collection under $40, this could be the best treat you receive this halloween.  Plus, we all need to have something cleanse the palate after burping up stale candy corn and hunchpunch all weekend.

BOOOOOOO!

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

Hello People.  This is going to be a really quick post today, because I have to go home and adorn myself in feathers.  Don't worry, I will update y'all on this later.  In the meantime, here is what is making me smile today:

All of this, plus Solange's unbeweavable braids:

Plus this:

Please note, that Mr. Swayze (RSVP) is dancing with his lifelong dance partner, his wife Lisa.

And this will make you cry:

Pumpkin faces.

Angie

New Britney Video Breakdown

OKOKOK!  I know you all have been patiently anticipating this.  Britney's new video for Criminal came out last week and it's been a good 3 months since I got all Men on Film on you with a music video breakdown.  In the past, these have been a national holiday around THYMWYA, so what better way to come out of hibernation than celebrate everyone's favorite Princess of the Trailer Park, Ms. Britney J. Spears.

Wearing: Sweater: H&M.  Shirt: Equipment.  Skirt: Forever 3.0.

Look, sugar boogers.  I am not going to pussyfoot around this situation...Como se dice, THISVIDEOSUCKSBALLZ? I called it when this song came out and said that I liked the song but the fact that Brit let her cousin Cooter from the swamp play the recorder in the beginning was overly annoying to me. Pretty much, this video is MA/L/S/V.  I feel like this should have some sort of warning on it like Sons of Anarchy does.  Pretty pos this was an excuse for that slowtalker Jason Trawahahaahahahah to get BritBrit to do P90x with him for 3 months and then get nekkidasajaybird and get some sweet bullet special effects all up in his grill.

First off the dude in the beginning is a total CHAD.  Let's just get that out of the way.  Look, I can dig the passion between these two.  I can even semi get behind ol' boys sharpie tattoos.  You know what I ABSOLUTELY can't get behind?  The fact that BJS doesn't dance anymore.  DEADCEREAL I AM PISSED!!!!!!!  Look Brit, I am 30 and though my hips and uterus haven't been ravaged by kids, I can say with all certainty that I can still throw it, and I know you can too.  I am about to start a petition for her to start dancing again, much like the one going around for Justin Timberlake to start making music again.  I know that these are harsh criticisms for the patron saint of THYMWYA, but as the sitting President of the SF Chapter of the Britney Spears Sparkle Club, it is my sworn duty to call BS on her when I see it.  Britney Jean, this is BS!!!!!!!!  

It's Angie Bitch!

Angie.  DUH.

Black Velvet

What up, slick?  Did everyone make it through the weekend alive?  I truly hope so. Indian Summer was in full effect around these parts so, there was plenty of flopping around in the park and playing outside.  Speaking of the park, I took Mr. Zigglesworth out on Saturday and with the amount of drool and heavy panting that was coming from that dude he made it all uber apparent that him and his chunk were NOT cut out for 80 degree weather.  I thought I was hanging out with the Kool-Aid guy. I ishyounot, it took me 45 minutes to get  Sr. Chunkybutt out of the park.  But, he was really well behaved and played with his bff Bear, and any kid who wanted to come up and grab on his ears and pet him.  I was all: "Zig, dude.  Who are you?  You are so well behaved right now, I am totally appreciative and shocked."  He was all: "Mom.  It's too hot for me to move.  My rolls are sticking to my knee caps and cankles, and I can see my chins from my sideeye. I think I am melting"  I told him: "No way, man.  That is how you look all the time.  It's cool."  Then he asked me to carry his fatass home.  Some things never change.

Wearing: Sweater: H&M.  Velvet Jeans: Paige Denim.  (Y'all, since we are besties, and I can be a bit narcissistic, I have to tell you that I am having  an epic hair day.  Just FYI.)

OKOKOK.  So, I know some of you who are old skool THYMWYA readers may be wondering where The Mister has been, what he has been up to, and what kind of knowledge he could be dropping that you may not be privy to.  Well, ladies and pigeons, The Mister is alive and well and being generally amazinglyawesome.  Earlier on in the Summer, he launched his own Personal Training business and that has taken up a lot of his time.  Everything is going super well with that and he is really genuinely happy about it.  Anyways, I am just so very proud of him, so I am going to brag for a minute.  (This is MY blog, so, I can do that).

The Mister has teamed up with one of his clients and has started a 36-day fitness challenge in order to get in shape in time for the holidays and they are blogging and documenting all of it on the interwebs. This is a very exciting challenge with great exercises and I love that it is coming from both sides of the coin:  The personal trainer and the client. I always say that I can do anything for a year, so, 36 days is definitely doable for everyone.  I encourage you all to check out this really great project that is near and dear to The Mister's heart.  

Head over to alexandramysoor.com & solittofn.blogspot.com and see if you can follow along with the training plans.  If you have questions for The Mister or Alexandra, or want some fitness or nutrition pointers, be sure to holler.  If there is enough interest, I can haul The Mister in here on Friday for everyone and he can answer your questions and have him give you a workout plan for the weekend.  I will include minimal sideeye and commentary...Mainly because I know he will kick my britneylovingass in the gym if I do.

Black Velvet in that soul southern style.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

It's everyone's favorite day of the week!  I feel like when Olive and Mocha got hopped up on pixie stix.  I finally felt my first earthquake today.  It wasn't anything mayjah, but it did feel like a semi truck hit my office building and the room shifted about 3 feet.  The funny thing is, California held it's statewide "Drop, Cover, and Hold" drill today and my office participated at 10:30 this morning, and then the earthquake hit about 5 hours later.  

Wearing: Dress: H&M.  Shoes: Sam Edelman

 What I did find out in the drill is that, A: we have a crow bar under my desk and B: I am basically the worst reactor when the real thing happens.  This wasn't a dress rehearsal and all I did was grab my phone and say: "whattheheck was that?".  I'd like to think that I would have enough facility to actually get under my desk but in all actuality, I am actually more like this: 

Ok, onto the awards portion of the program.  Erika wins the Swag Sauce Drippin Swagu award for the following ridiculousness.  It's pretty unbelievable that this puppet can go in harder than Erika herself...Who has been known to be the Queen of Bush Club and hang upside down from a stripper pole in the middle of Squid Roe in Cabo.  I still need eyebleach for that.

Jewel wins the I will Teach You More Than The Dougie  award for this cuteawesomeness.

don't you want to just bite Eyore on the ear because he is sofakingcute?

What is making you smile today?  Leave it in the comments and your internet crap could be featured here next week.

Scaredy Cat...Not to be confused with Smelly Cat.

Angie

Charlie Hustle

What up gangsta's.  I just want to clear something up.  In case any of you thought that I was in a bad mood or upset about something yesterday, I definitely am not.  I promisepromise that things are all glitter and rainbows around here.  I am still walking on sunshine and I am shooting awesome through my well manicured nails. 

The only thing that has bothered me is one co-worker.  Everyone has one.  It's that person that is just walking around and is about 10 seconds away from getting slapped.  Don't sideeye me like I am the only one, because I know that at least 1 person who reads this blog has an Scty. McGee that they work with that is cruisin for a bruisin.  Well, as I always say, you can fix ugly, but you can't fix being a f*wad.  And I have one particular jerkass who is taking every ounce of good out of my system from 10a-5p PDT for the past two days.  

Wearing: Sweater & Shorts: H&M.  Jewelry: Michael Kors, Stella & Dot

So, as with any time that I get annoyed, I just revert to my happy place and search for gifgarbage.  (BTDubbs, I would just like to take a moment and thank Google for being the best anti-depressant ever.)  Today's theme in the search for sparklegemawesomeness so I don't slapajerk was "Gangsta Unicorn GIF's"  Here is what I found:

BritBrit, what do you think about that?  

  Yep.  Me too!  OBVIIIIIII!

I am unicorn.

Angie

PdotS: I would like everyone to know that I now know all the words to the following song.  If you're lucky, I will make a video for you of me spittin' hotfyah.

Stitch Fix

Hi kiddo's.  Happy Tuesday to you all.  Sorry I wasn't around for the past couple of days but I went off the grid to get some productive things taken care of as well as enjoy the Indian Summer with some beach time, lots of decadent food, and one terrible meal.  Listen, if you are ever in SF and get the hankering for some Dim Sum, DO NOT.  I REPEAT: DO NOT go to Hong Kong Lounge.  It's located on the corner of barfsville and FML...You can't miss it.  Anyways... onto way more important things....

I know y'all have heard (read) me talk (write) about StitchFix, and many of you have asked me what it is.  Well, pretty much it's the most glitterbombfantastical thing EVAH!  StitchFix is a monthly service that is basically the anti-KimKardashianhatesmylife AKA: ShoeDazzle.  You take a short style survey and based on your answers, the lovely StitchFix team hand picks five items per month and sends them to you.  You try everything on at home with the items you already have in your closet.  Keep what you love and send back what you don't.  That's it.  Easypeasylemonsqueezy.  Here is what I kept from my my September shipment and how I remixed the outfits:

Dress: MDB

LBWrapDress: BBDakota

Top: BBDakota

I really love that these items are not anything I would typically pick out for myself, but I surprisingly really like all of them and they are in heavy rotation.  StitchFix is in Beta right now and invite only, so, let them know I sent you and they will get you through the velvet ropes and into the VIP section where all the cool kids are fist pumping.

Smurf Farts.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

Hey party people.  How is your Thursday going?  Great?  Fantastic!  I finally got some sleep and hugs so, your girl is in a much better mood today and bumping straight 80's jams.  OK, moving right along...It's that time of the week where I cull together all the brain cells I have wasted on the interwebs over the past week and then glitterbomb your life away with it.  

Let's begin with what is making me smile:  As I have been alluding to, I have some really exciting things in the works and the first one that I am pumped to announce is that I am launching as a stylist for Stella & Dot today.  This has been something that I have been toying with for the past six months and I am so very excited to be joining such an amazing company with a passion for sparklegemawesomeness.  I will be posting things from them on here quite often so, if you have any questions about my accessories, hollaatyourgirl. 

Wearing: Shirt: Madewell.  Skirt: J.Crew. Bag: Coach, gifted.  Shoes: Aldo.  Jewelry: Stella & Dot

I need to apologize to all my Facebook friends for the redundancy of the Princessofthislifetime award winner, Miss Sophia Grace Brownlee.  I saw this video of the most precious nugget to ever nugget on Saturday and immediately watched it 25.7 times.  Personally, I identify more with her blonde friend...ya know, moderately talented, making crazy faces mocking people, while busting out the 4 dance moves I have mastered, and wearing amazing shoes. Well, one of my favorite Velvet Mafia members, Neil M one upped that original video with this:

And I now cry and laugh every time I watch that video.  I am 100% positive that this is me and my girlfriends.  I swear to Britney that she may replace Britney in my life...JKJKJK!  Never that.  Sorry, I got carried away for a minute with cuteness.

Then this happened and my mind was blown:

I am dead over her checking to see if her finger works on her legchunk.  BAHAHAHAHAHAH.

OK, and finally, Renee wins the EverydayTutu Award for the most hilarical longest argument ever.  NSFW, BTDubbs.

Super Bass.

Angie

It's Just One Of Those Days

Blech.  Today is just one of those days friends.  Here is the deal.  I didn't sleep well last night and was up for hours.  Insomnia is something that I have suffered from since I was 8.  8!  Who has insomnia at 8 years old?  Me!  That's who.  For the past year and a half it has gone in waves but never lasts more than  a week or two.  The problem is when I don't sleep, I usually start thinking and then I can't stop and I wake up cranky and emotional, and Britney forbid that anyone gets in my way the next day.  It aint' pretty.  

With all that being said, I liked my OOTD in theory when I left the house.  As I settled in at work my resident Frenchman said: "hey chick.  What shoes did you bring to change into?" I said: "Ummmm...none.  I am rocking my Chuck T's today."  To which he replied: "Bad idea."

(This photo was taken en route to the office this morning.)

And just like that, my day turned all terriblehorriblenogoodverybad.  I immediately hated everything I had on.  So, instead of showing you pictures of me pouting and holding back tears, I thought I would show you things that I am shovingmyeyeballs into to make my day better.

Seriously, could this video be any more amazing?  I love Beyonce. She gives me the happiness.

I want this

And finally, someone told me that I should get Ziggy a truck costume for Halloween so he could go as this:

Also, don't forget to get on the #sneakysneakers train and tweet Adiel and I your sneaker style!

I hope y'all had a better day than I.  To remedy that, I have dinner scheduled with a very special someone who can always make me smile and turn my day in the right direction.

smushface.

Angie

#sneakysneakers

Hi Chickypoos!  I hope you all had a great weekend.  So, I am going to do something a little different here on THYMWYA today.  You see, me and my girl Adiel have been chatting about how to wear sneakers.  We all have them in our closet but most of the time they don't get as much play as our beloved heels.  Well, it's time to switch that up.  At least for a day.  So, next Monday, tweet at me (@THYMWYA) and Adiele (@triplyksis) with the hashtag #sneakysneakers and let's cause a twitter situation.  Show us your favorite way to fashionably rock your pumped up kicks.

Let me know in the comments section if you are interested in participating.  Totally not necessary to have a blog, so, please don't think this is some exclusive blogpartay.  It isn't! We just want to see everyone's sparklegemawesome way of rocking a classic so we can inspire each other to utilize the other half of our shoe collection.  Feel free to utilize the above moodboard if you are participating.

Mmmmmkay.

Angie

What Is Making You Smile Thursday

Hey Friends.  As I write this, my walls and windows at my office are shaking because the Blue Angels are practicing over the skies of SF because it's FLEET WEEK!  I love Fleet Week here.  It's so great to hear the jets overhead and see all the battleships in the bay.  The air shows that happen over the weekend are so fun and loud that sometimes they take the breath out of your lungs.  It's an intense feeling.  Plus it's some of the most hellyeah'Merica Frisco gets all year.  

Wearing: Skirt: Vintage Evan Piconne.  Top: BB Dakota via: StitchFix.  Booties and Sweater: F21.

OK.  Now to business.  Like I said: Blue Angels are all up in our skies here in SF.  I walked down to the Ferry Building during lunch today and was able to see these dudes getting all Goose and Maverick over the bay.  I feel like Highway To The Danger Zone should be getting blared through the emergency broadcast system throughout the city.  Actually, I am 10000000% hoping that THIS goes down somewhere in The City to some lucky lady this weekend. (Side note...in my opinion, the best line from Top Gun will always be: "take me to bed or lose me forever.")

Eliza wins the Britney Spears Sparkle Microphone for the week for the following youtubery:

DING!

Let's kick the tires and light the fires!

Angie

October Edition of Kim Is Trying My Nerves

Hey hookstars!  It's that time of the month, I'm not talkin' #sharkweek.  This is the one day a month and bitchandmoan about Shoedazzle and Kimberly Kardassssssssshian and her slorish ways and even worse styling abilities.  If you want to catch up with the Angie vs. Kim saga, you can start here.  I have to admit, Kimmy had me thinking for a about 30 seconds last month that she was going to redeem herself and start picking some good shoesies for me.  But hellnaw.  That furry Armenian wanted to get into a fullblown frenemy off with your girl.  Here is what she selected for me this month:

 KIMBERLY!!!!!!!!!  Do I look like Angie from the block?  WTF are those "Winter" monstrosities?  The only people wearing those in the Winter is Starlawiththeadamsapple and possibly J-Lo when she was hiding guns for Diddy. Then for ishandgiggles, she throws in these "Arwen" clog-boot-heel combo pack.  These are the most schizophrenic shoes I have ever seen in my life.  Dutch people should all collectively come together and sue her over these effed up boots.

Look, I don't even have time to start on what the heck these "Eveleigh" things are.  I am positive that any heels I am wearing don't need their own lingerie.  These were clearly made for people to wear to the Folsom Street Fair, (if you're into that kinda thing, more power to ya').  To round out this set she threw in "Chase".  Bitch, the only thing I am going to be doing in those shoes is chasing your bigbootyself through the deserts of Tatooine with a gang of Storm Troopers.

I can't even start with these last four.  I just really can't.  I'm done.

WHATEVER!!!!!

Angie

Candy Corn...Makes Its Own Gravy

Hey y'all.  I hope your week is off and running like a herd of turtles.  I have a couple of ridiculously important things to talk about.  First and foremost, Fall is officially here and so I debuted some tights for the occasion.  I think that this may be the last time I ever wear colored tights.  A: I feel like the bottom half of me was created by Jim Hensen. B: I think the color makes my legs look short which adds to the muppet illusion.  I am however, having a fullblownbrokbackmountain style love affair with this dress that I got in my StitchFix shipment this month.  (More on that coming up later this week)

Jacket: Zara.  Dress: MDB (via StitchFix) Boots: Steve Madden.

Second order of business that needs to be addressed is actually a lot more annoying to me personally.  Why is it as soon as September 30th rolls around every TomDickAndHarry start bombarding my eye sockets with candy corn?  DeadCereal the only worse candy that has ever been created is Bit O Honey (which looks like a brick of vagrant poop).  Candy corn is gross.  It tastes like rotten sugar and I venture to think that it was created by someone with wooden teeth, because it's a shock to your taste buds with the insane amount of sugar and corn syrup.  Plus it's gritty like Cream of Wheat sprinkled with sandpaper.  Why and more importantly WHO is perpetuating this misperception that this is A: good and B: suffices as an appropriate treat to put in candy dishes around this time of year?  These little squirrelturd sized candies taste like wax pumped full of stale sugar.  Seriously people, quit jerking around and fork over the additional 8 quarters and fill your candy dishes with SNICKERS!  

Another interesting thing to point out is that about 20 years ago I was having the same argument about how gross candy corn is with my uncle.  At the time, Nirvana was kinda awesome, so he was in a grungetype band with his buddies called Speed Weasel.  They wrote a song called "Candy Corn" and the chorus says: "candy corn.  Makes its own graaaaavaaaaay".  Everysinglesolitary time I ever see those orange, yellow, and white craptacular tasting pyramids, the chorus runs through my head and I will actually often sing it.  Ladies and gentlemen, I gift you with Speed Weasel and their smash hit "Candy Corn"

Just a little glimpse into my awesome upbringing and why I am so 1000000000.5% normal on all accounts.

Tastes like honey, but a little bit gritty.

Angie

Easier To Bear

What up gangsta's?  Did you all have an absoultelyfabulous weekend?  I certainly hope so.  After being sick with a stomach bug all day on Friday, I spent the remainder of the weekend maxin' and relaxin'. It's funny how sometimes it's just as much fun to have a relaxing weekend without an agenda as it is to have an incredibly busy weekend.  I definitely need a mix between the two but this weekend was simply perfect, in my opinion.  

Wearing: Dress: Forever21.  Shirt: Urban Outfitters.  Blazer: H&M.  Boots: Steve Madden.

In other news.  These photos are a boldfacedlie. (Don't worry, I didn't photoshop a crapping vagrant out of these pictures).  I typically photograph what I wear to work and post it that afternoon.  Not today my friends.  These photos were taken last week when it was about 80 degrees out and the weather was completely amazeballs here in SF.  It's not like that here anymore.  We had about two weeks of Indian Summer and now, the bottom fell out and Frisco is back to it's whackass weather pattern that is more craycray than walking through the Tenderloin after dark.  Today is the first official day of Fall in my mind:  Overcastrainycrapinabag.   This means something very very important... I need to read the instructions on my camera and figure out how in the world I am supposed to take photos inside.  #bloggerproblems... I know.  

For anyone wondering...I did NOT post the following Craigslist ad.  However, if you know of the person who was able to fill this position, please send them my way to apply for my open position of "unicornandsequinsloving sidekick":

Scuba Steve.

Angie