Hey y'all. I hope your week is off and running like a herd of turtles. I have a couple of ridiculously important things to talk about. First and foremost, Fall is officially here and so I debuted some tights for the occasion. I think that this may be the last time I ever wear colored tights. A: I feel like the bottom half of me was created by Jim Hensen. B: I think the color makes my legs look short which adds to the muppet illusion. I am however, having a fullblownbrokbackmountain style love affair with this dress that I got in my StitchFix shipment this month. (More on that coming up later this week)
Jacket: Zara. Dress: MDB (via StitchFix) Boots: Steve Madden.
Second order of business that needs to be addressed is actually a lot more annoying to me personally. Why is it as soon as September 30th rolls around every TomDickAndHarry start bombarding my eye sockets with candy corn? DeadCereal the only worse candy that has ever been created is Bit O Honey (which looks like a brick of vagrant poop). Candy corn is gross. It tastes like rotten sugar and I venture to think that it was created by someone with wooden teeth, because it's a shock to your taste buds with the insane amount of sugar and corn syrup. Plus it's gritty like Cream of Wheat sprinkled with sandpaper. Why and more importantly WHO is perpetuating this misperception that this is A: good and B: suffices as an appropriate treat to put in candy dishes around this time of year? These little squirrelturd sized candies taste like wax pumped full of stale sugar. Seriously people, quit jerking around and fork over the additional 8 quarters and fill your candy dishes with SNICKERS!
Another interesting thing to point out is that about 20 years ago I was having the same argument about how gross candy corn is with my uncle. At the time, Nirvana was kinda awesome, so he was in a grungetype band with his buddies called Speed Weasel. They wrote a song called "Candy Corn" and the chorus says: "candy corn. Makes its own graaaaavaaaaay". Everysinglesolitary time I ever see those orange, yellow, and white craptacular tasting pyramids, the chorus runs through my head and I will actually often sing it. Ladies and gentlemen, I gift you with Speed Weasel and their smash hit "Candy Corn"
Just a little glimpse into my awesome upbringing and why I am so 1000000000.5% normal on all accounts.
Tastes like honey, but a little bit gritty.